205!

205 lbs!
I lost more weight!  It's starting to "melt off" as they say.  For me I wasn't as obsessed with weighing myself off and on incessantly but I'm going to check it every week.  I've just been weighed a lot by the trainer and doctors this week, so I am able to see my progress.

Let me say that weighing yourself doesn't actually show progress, and it can be really discouraging at times.  Because muscle weighs MORE than fat!  So you work out and out and out, and then BAM you either haven't gained or lost anything, or you gain weight.  Oh man, does that make me feel bad.  This is because muscle does weigh more than fat, so as you gain muscle and replace the fat, you either stay the same weight or gain weight.  I dealt with this the first 2 weeks of starting my transformation.  It was very discouraging so I just decided to stop weighing myself.

May I say also that this is the worst time ever to need new clothes!  I am going through so many body changes right now that nothing fits.  And my mom was so awesome to get me some new clothes for school, but they already don't fit.  I was wearing a 22, oh yea, that's big.

Seeing myself at such a bad place made me think back to when I first got together with my husband, about 7 years ago.  I thought I was fat then, always feeling so bad about myself, having no self worth, etc..  I kick myself now for that, because I wore a 15/16 back then, and I can't even get those up my thighs anymore.  Very depressing. 

My Goals right now!!!!

-Get under 200 lbs!  I have been struggling with this for almost a year, and now I'm so close, I think I will be under 200 in 2 weeks, we'll see.  I think I'll cry when that happens, and eat something special to mark the occassion, but nothing too bad ;)

-I want to get back down to a 15/16, and then when I get there I'll change my plans from there.  Right now a 22 is huge on me, but an 18 is slightly grabby.  Kind of when you first pull jeans out of the dryer, and you have to squat and bend and make all sorts of weird poses to get them to stretch out a little....am I the only one who does this?  Lol.

Health Update:

I have been feeling awesome lately.  My back isn't hurting as much, except for today since I worked my back yesterday.  I can walk better, and yoga has definitely improved my posture and flexibility.

Meeting with my doc yesterday was disheartening.  So yesterday was a pretty bad blue day.  Basically my woman plumbing is full of cysts and fibroids, my left ovary is dead, and I can put up with the pain and annoyance of 6 month long menses until I'm ready for a hysterectomy.  Oh yea, and I can't have any more kids.  We saw this coming, hence why we had our 2 kids early in our lives when we did, since the doctor told us we had three years to try, so we did, and had a rough time with it, but were definitely blessed beyond all reason with two great kids. Kind of saddening for me though, since personally we wanted 2 more kids.  But we're happy and grateful we were able to have the 2 we have.  I also have this growth crammed in my lypmh nodes in my armpit, and it has grown to a baseball within a month.  Very scary.  So next week I'm meeting with someone to get an ultrasound on it, biopsy it, and then have surgery scheduled to remove it.  I'm hoping it's nothing, and probably just a side effect of gaining weight the way I did a year ago, when it first appeared.

A note on Cheat Days, as I see it.
What is a cheat day?  Basically a day of the week when you can eat whatever you want and it won't affect your progress whatsoever.  Sounds like a good idea...but then again..if I spend all week trying to eat healthy, and then eat like a crazy person that has been having incessant cravings for the whole week, don't you think that could be potentially bad?  I think I'd get super sick, and would feel guilty and whatnot.  I know a lot of trainers and bodybuilders that do this, but hey they don't have any fat to lose and I do.  So here's my 5 cents on this..I think cheat days are bad...for me.  It might work for other people but robert and I discussed this for about an hour the other day.  I think it'd be better to eat something "cheat-like" every once in a  while without it hurting your diet.  That way my cravings don't go haywire and I don't feel guilty.  But also when I say cheat, I'm not talking go crazy at a buffet or have an entire deep dish pizza or a wedding cake by yourself.  For me, last night, it was my dad's pizza, a nice treat for us, since I avoid carbs nowadays.  But having a cheat day would also mean anytime I'd ever want to do things with my friends or family, like a bbq or a birthday party, well it would have to be centered and scheduled around MY cheat day, not very convenient or fair to others involved.  "Oh honey we'd love to have a big surprise party for your sister for her 28th birthday this year, but we'll just have to wait till her cheat day.."  :P  Lol, well poop on that. 

The most important thing when it comes to losing weight and getting healthy and changing your life around is that it's YOUR life, do it in a way that works for you!  Everything can be tailored to meet your needs.

On another note, I didn't get to do Hot Yoga last night because little Bobby has a double ear infection so we were at the afterhours clinic.  But I'll do it next week.  Today I'm going do regular Yoga, so I'm off to the gym.

Till next time :)








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