An update

I apologize to my loyal followers, I have been moving and haven't had internet, so I haven't been able to post in a while.  But now the internet is back up, so let's trudge on toward my sad tale of woe.

Long story short, food has become an evil entity in my life now.  Everything I have worked so hard for has been for nought.  Because I have been such a spaz with food, I now either don't ever want to eat at all, or I go crazy and binge.  So I'm going to have to start over yet again with the food thing. 

This was so heart wrenching for me.  I don't know what happened, maybe it was stress or whatever, but I have reverted back to my old eating habits.  I was one pound away from my goal of being under 200 lbs.  Now I am back up to 211 again.  So....don't mind my french as they say..but SH*T THIS SUCKS!  So do I give up?  Heck no!  I start over, all over, and try not be a blubbering baby about it.  Ok...so what am I going to do about this and what went wrong?

First off, my way of eating was all wrong.  Sure it seems cutting your calories by 75 percent and going to the gym like a crazy person seems like a good idea and the best way to lose weight.  And sure you lose weight, but it's not the kind of weight you want to lose.  Let's talk about what happens when you cut calories like that.  Your body is used to a certain way you eat, and by suddenly depriving your body of the normal calorie intake, it goes into shock and survival mode.  What does this mean?  This means that every tiny bit of food I put into my mouth, even if it's barely nothing, will get instantly put into my fat reserve because my body and brain thinks that I am lost on turtle island with nothing to eat but berries and protein shakes and it better save every calorie I eat in case I won't ever get food again.  Of course I'm not stuck on an island somewhere, but tell my brain that, it doesn't care.  Your brain needs fat to survive and function, so it will be a greedy little bugger about saving every little adipose molecule.  Your body will do what is best for it, and it thinks it would be bad for you to lose weight, since it's delusional and thinks you're island bound.  So what is one to do?  To begin a weight loss program, I have to start cutting my calories and food intake slowly, by only maybe 500 calories every 5 days or so.  And I have to stop being a spaz about food again.  By cutting calories slowly, it allows your body and metabolism to level out and not go into survival mode.

Second, I have to STOP FREAKING OUT ABOUT CALORIES!  I stare at the treadmill, row machine, whatever cardio thing I'm doing watching those little numbers climb ever so slowly.  It's like calorie torture!  I think about that cookie I ate and feel determined to burn off 500 calories to count for the cookie.  THIS IS INSANE!  It doesn't work that way.  Robert is like Mr. Insano on the elliptical stair climber thingy, he does full out running on the max level for an hour and he manages to burn 800-1200 calories!  I get on a treadmill and I'm lucky to burn 200 calories after an hour of interval training.  (where you walk, speed walk, sprint, walk, speed run, sprint, etc)  For one, this is not fair because men burn calories and lose weight differently from women, but it also shows that you don't really burn that many calories from doing cardio. 

What is important about cardio?  Is it about burning calories?  Cardio is important for your cardiovascular health.  I'll repeat it again...Cardio is important for CARDIOVASCULAR HEALTH!  It's not there for you to burn off your cookies, it's there for your health!  My cardio health is awful!  My heartrate goes up to 180 when I sprint on the treadmill.  Very dangerous, and this means I have to start out slow and do low impact stuff.  But one day I'll be able to sprint on that treadmill with a HR of 160.  Right now my heart is just lazy and out of shape from 7 years of a very sedentary lifestyle.  I have other health problems too, but I never let my health problems get in the way of anything!  Don't tell me what I can or can't do!  I can do whatever I want!  Or I try at least.  Unless you ask me to move something over 50 lbs, I might think about it, and give whatever it is a push, to see really how heavy it is, but I'm not stupid and I'm not going to blow out my back to move your sofa!  Forget it!  Move your own sofa!

I haven't been going to the gym, horrible me *slaps herself*  but we have been extremely busy with the move and I have been horridly sore and tired and just darn grumpy.  I am getting surgery to get an axillary mass removed from near my breast, and then I have to have another surgery consult about my bipolar uterus, but that is tmi for sure.  (TMI= too much info)  Sorry boys, I said uterus, get over it.

I <3 weight lifting.  One day I'd like to be a fitness model.  I have a pretty face, I think I could do it maybe.  Weight lifting is not just for bodybuilders!  Muscle is sexy!  Muscle also makes your body burn more calories!  More muscle = higher metabolism and calorie burning everyday.  Did you know you burn calories everyday without doing anything!?  That's right!  Your BMR, or Basal Metabolic Rate, is the rate at which your body burns calories, just for you being you, getting up in the morning and breathing.  Sometimes I forget this and think I have to be burning calories incessently.  This happens to those exercise addicts, they forget they have a BMR and feel they have to exercsise literally 24/7.  Poor souls. 

Weight lifting makes you stronger, burns calories, and it feels good darnit.  I <3 those endorphins you get when you exercise, it's like being high on life.  *Sidenote: I have never done drugs ever!  That's right, you make fun of me I don't care, I'm no druggie and I don't drink either!  So this is the only "high" I've ever experienced.*  There are those girls that don't want to lift weights because they "don't want icky muscles!"  well poo on that!  Depending on the amount of weight you use, you can either start making muscles or just have your body toned up, get rid of the waving arm flap, ha ha.  Mine are going away!  Huzzah!  My arms are getting tighter and toned, and I'm ecstatic.

So how do I weight lift?  I like to alternate days of weight lifting.  One day I'll do Arms and Back and the next day I'll do Legs.  I do my abs pretty much everyday.  Why do u alternate?  Well for one, if you work every muscle you are going to be sore and immobile beyond all reason lol.  But to answer that question, let's talk about how building muscle works.  When you lift a weight and challenge your muscles, they make tiny little fiber tears in your muscles, this is the "burn" you feel when exercising or lifting weights.  You cannot get stronger or build muscle without tearing these muscle fibers.  That is just how it works.  So by alternating, you are giving your muscles a break so they can repair themselves.  So you lift weights, tear the muscles fibers, the fibers repair themselves allowing you to be stronger, lift more weights, tear fibers, heal, etc..  This is how the muscle process works.  But by alternating, your muscles repair and heal themselves, they have to repair themselves or you will risk injury to yourself, and other people around you for that matter.  I don't like being next to the guy in the gym grunting lifting something heavy, just in case he drops it, lol. 

I like to do drop sets.  This is a proven process of muscle building and weight lifting that allows you to really get into the deep muscle fibers to see the best results.  For example, I'll start on my triceps at 40 lbs, do that till exhaustion (till I can't do it anymore), then I drop the weight to 30lbs and do the same thing.  Since the weight is lower it is easier, but you're still going to feel it after a bit.  Then I'll do 30 lbs to exhaustion and drop it to 20 bs, and so forth, until I can't drop any lower.  Sure I look lame doing 5 lbs on my triceps looking exhausted and in pain, lol, but it's ok, I know I started up there at 40 lbs.

A sidenote here..why do I know so much about this stuff?  Because I READ people!  I research and read books, and go to the library and talk to the gym folks and it's because I'm smart, that's why!   

So the important key factors for me to remember and to get back on track right now:

1.  Start cutting calories slowly.  Stop being a food nazi.

2.  Continue weight lifting and cardio, but go easy on the cardio. 

3.  Watch what I eat, but don't deprive myself of evil pleasures like chocolate or ice cream.  Moderation is key!

Thanks for reading and until next time!